What Girls Really Want For Christmas!
Ok guys: listen to this! I'm here to tell you what women want for Christmas. You probably already know, but you don't understand. What am I saying? Well, those little advertisements that have mysteriously appeared on your dresser, your workbench, or stuck to your truck's windshield did not arrive there by accident. Someone who wants you to pay close attention to what they really want puts it there. You don't think the wind blew it there, do you? Oh please! Let's take a look at the list and find out what your lady really wants for Christmas. I have shortened everything to make it clearer and more concise. This means that the 27 elements you truly desire are condensed into just five. Take it?
1. Jewelery Did you have to ask? What woman doesn't want to wear something shiny on her fingers, neck, wrist, anklet, navel? Well, I don't mean personalized jewelry either. I'm talking about something that will keep its shine in all weather conditions and can be counted by the number of karats it has. You can count on him coming back at least the following June, probably through Thanksgiving.
2. Chocolate Milk chocolate is useless folks. It is best to choose it by brand: Peregina, Godiva and Richart are some that come to mind. Yes, bring him Santa's chocolates too. Shell thinks you are too sweet!
3. To the islands! Well, it's time to splurge. Do your best and book that early February vacation in Paradise. You'll know you'll need it when the 17th measurable snowstorm hits your driveway. By the way, no matter how much you think the kids should come, make arrangements with your parents to come and spend the week at your place. If children get the flu, at least they will be in a familiar environment with adults spoiling them.
4. Spa Membership This gets complicated. If you give him a spa membership, he will say that he thinks you are getting fat / getting older / wrinkling etc. You are walking in dangerous territory, men! Better yet, make sure it's a place where your friends are already hanging out. Tell her that you want her to spend some regular quality time with her friends. She won't buy your toss, but she'll especially bond when you present her with the other gift she craves: chocolate.
5. Things for your minivan. You know how hard it is for you to find the courage to drive the station wagon, right? Especially after driving your Dakota all week. Who wants to get caught driving that thing? She does! This is where you really have to die alone: give candles and candle cords for Christmas and leave it there. It's a joke. It is best to find the branded auto parts you really want: car mats, seat covers, pet pads, etc. All the frivolous little things that make your vehicle, well, yours.
Still not sure what you want? Then just look. That ad on his workbench is open to the page of the article he wants ... the one with the big red circle around it. So take it and leave it there. If you do, you will sing, peace on earth and good will towards men in the blink of an eye. Happy Christma
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